We're Having A....

Due to many difficulties with the computers we have at home, I have not been writing my blog consistently, or really writing at all in the last few months.  But, we found out some news yesterday that I think is worth taking a little time to write via the library's internet. 

Yesterday, we had the infamous ultrasound, and to our utter surprise and shock (I'm still a bit in shock) we were told that we are having a GIRL!  "Really?  Are you sure?"  That was my first reaction.  The ultrasound technician seemed very certain, and since she was right about all our boys, I'm going to trust her on this. 

We are all very excited, including the boys, or maybe especially the boys.  Malachi was always referred to the baby as "she", and Izzy told me that we should have a baby sister because we already had a baby brother and didn't need one of those (a clue to how he REALLY feels about Simeon maybe? ha ha ha).  I am finally allowing my self to think pink and look at all the cute little girl clothes at the store. 

What an adventure!  Three boys and a girl!

Stomach Bugs, Ear Confections, Adoption and Waiting

The last few weeks have been very.....full, to put it gently.  One week we had a stomach flu bug, which seemed very unfair since I was just getting over having morning sickness and thought I was going to be done with nausea and vomiting.  No such luck. 

The following week we all had colds and I lost my voice for two days, which made being a stay at home mom just a little more challenging than usual. 

This week we started off with going to the doctor, where it was discovered that Simeon has a sinus infection and Israel has an ear infection, which he called an "itchy ear confection" and made me laugh. 

Now that we are all loaded up with antibiotics, cough medicine, tylenol, and/or ricola cough drops, I think we are getting better.  Hopefully we can put all this sickness behind us!

Other than that, this week Aaron and I also surprisingly found ourselves at an informational meeting about adoption at our church.  Adoption is not something I have really wanted to do in the past, but it seems like God has been doing something in my heart, and Aaron's, in the last year or so, even in the last month or so. 

At this point, Aaron is a little more enthusiastic than I am since I am pregnant, and my main thought is "One kid at a time please!"  It's hard to think about bringing home a child to adopt when I already know I'll be bringing home a newborn this May. 

In any case, it is something we're looking into and praying about.  We always knew that we wanted to have a big family, and up until now, I had always considered that I would be bringing all of those children into the world myself.  Now I am considering that God may have other plans for us. 

There are a lot of different routes to take when considering adoption, and it can be very expensive, so one thing that is absolutely certain is that we need God's guidance and direction on this, as well as His provision. 

Normally, I wouldn't blog about something like this.  When I feel God stirring us to something, I like to keep it close to my heart.  I might tell a few close friends, but not tell the entire world (so to speak).  However, in this particular case, I feel like this is the beginning of a journey and that maybe there are people who need to read about it along the way.

This may be something that happens a year from now, or it could be ten years from now.  I really don't know.  I do know that when it happens, it will be God's perfect timing, and I trust Him to show us exactly when that is. 

In the meantime, we will gather information, we will wait, and we will pray.  Most of the time, that seems like all you can do with any situation: wait, and pray. 

Give Me Jesus

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

But give me Jesus

Today I feel the words of this song.  I feel the need for Him.  I think that's a good thing.  It means my ears are ready to hear, my heart is ready to mold.  On a day like this, God can speak to me.  On a day like this, God can change me. 

The funny thing is that I don't feel great today.  I'm tired and emotional.  It's sunny out, but I feel like the skies are gray.  Yet somehow, I think it is on a day like this that God can do the most in me. 

On the days when I feel great, it's easy for me to forget how much I really need Him.  But today my need is staring me in the face.  And I love it. 

I love the days when my soul is crying out to God, when I feel that thirst for Him.  It is beautiful.  It reminds me that He is what I want most in this whole world.  It is so easy to be distracted by other things--husband, kids, life, problems, family, friends, neighbors, church, TV...the list goes on.  But on a day like today, all of those things seem to sort of fade into the background, and I remember what is really important. 

A day like today might start out being not so great.  But it has the potential of being one of the best days, depending on whether I choose to rely on Him or on myself.  When I feel low, or sad, or frustrated, I have the choice of continuing in that, or of trusting Him and asking Him for help.  Most of the time, that doesn't mean I will spend an hour in prayer or that I will read eight chapters of Bible.  No, it's nothing nearly so "super-spiritual".  Not that it would be a bad thing for me to do, but let's face it, I don't have enough time (or peace and quiet!) for that.

It might simply mean that I take one minute to stop and say, "Lord, I need your help," or "God, please give me patience."  It might mean that I stop to remember a verse like James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."  Or Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

Sometimes that is all I can do.  In those times, I know God meets me right where I am.  In those brief moments, I sometimes see God more clearly than in any worship service.  In those moments, I know the truth of Psalm 91:2 in ways I never could on days when I feel just fine.  "I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust'."