Ideal

Most of my days
Are spent thinking of ways
To feel more
To feel more alive
To feel more like myself
I am still myself
Aren't I?
SometimesI'm not certain
I was once a girl
I was once on my own
Now I am "Mommy"
I am never alone
I think I am not sure I can do this
Too late, I am already doing it
I love it
I hate it
I feel depressed
But then I celebrate it
This life
This crazy life
This wonderful life
This strange life
What kind of life is this?
I had imagined something
A bit more adventurous
Glamorous
Ideal
A little more ideal