Saturday, October 24, 2009

Saturday Morning

Saturday Morning

6:22 am

My son all jittery

He knows that this should be a day that Daddy is home

But Daddy is working

“Let’s go downstairs” he whispers loudly

I turn on the TV and get him a “snack”

It consists of apples, cheese, and mini berry-flavored rice cakes

Go feed baby

Come back and eat oatmeal

Attempt to curl up on the couch and sleep

“Not today!”

This is his internal mantra, I think

Periodically, he jumps on me, just as I am drifting off

He leans his face into mine and breathes on me

“Don’t do that.”

Brief respite, and then

A strange, loud, nonsensical utterance

“Be quiet, Mommy is trying to rest.”

He gives up…sort of

He begins to pick up all his toys, which means he loudly throws things into the toy box, causing me to wonder what in the world he is doing

He’s cleaning?!?

I feel guilty, so I go and finish gluing these little animal crafts we started the other day

The glue it came with didn’t work

Neither did super glue, unbelievably

It’s time for the hot glue gun

Third time’s a charm

He is happy

He wants to use the squirrel as a hockey puck for the other animals

I guess that’s the difference between little boys and little girls

Wake up, son number 2

“You want some bamanas?”

(Yes, I said bamanas)

Yes, no, yes, no

He’s two, he has no idea, or can’t express it

Right now he screams at me for giving him what he asked for

“It’s just a phase”

I tell myself

“Mommy can you make us a tent like you did yesterday?”

Chairs and blankets and the couch and the doors from our armoire that were beginning to come off anyway

A little lamp so they can see to “read” their books

“Mommy, I don’t really like this tent. I like the one from yesterday.”

Some thanks I get

10 o’clock

It’s only ten o’clock?

Saturday morning

Monday, October 5, 2009

Where's Jesus?

My pastor once said, “Reading the Bible without looking for Jesus is like reading a ‘Where’s Waldo’ book without looking for Waldo.” It doesn’t make a lot of sense. I wonder if life isn’t the same. Maybe living life without looking for Jesus in the everyday is just as pointless.

I wonder if we looked for Him throughout the day, in all places and situations, if we would find Him where we least expect. Maybe we’d catch a glimpse of His love in the movie we’re watching, whether the people who made the movie meant to do it or not. Maybe we’d read a book and see the emptiness in the lives of the characters and realize how much we have, how full our lives are with Him. We might remember that there is a lost world out there who needs Him. We might go to work and see Him there, in a person who is kind, in a flyer on the bulletin board.

The Bible says, “For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” (Romans 1:20) The whole world has creation all around them like an arrow pointing to God. But most of them aren’t looking for Him. For those people the world doesn’t make sense. It is simply a book crowded with drawings of random people, no why, no rhyme or reason to any of it. No Waldo, so to speak. No Jesus.

The thing is, most of the time, I forget to look for Him too. Most of the time I go through my day, caught up in all the things of life—kids and laundry and dishes and messes and going places and doing things. And I don’t even see Him. I don’t see Him when I clean because I hate cleaning, and I don’t like doing it, but He’s there. He’s there in my cleaning because when I clean it makes my husband feel loved. When I see it like that, my cleaning becomes and act of love, and God is always in on it when we love people. I don’t see Him in the faces of my children who were made in His image. I’m too busy being frustrated that they made a mess. I don’t see how much I’m like them, and how patient God is with me when I’m the one making a mess.

Most of the time, I don’t look for Him, and I don’t see Him. But He’s there, if I would just stop for one second, and look. And I want to do that. I want to look for Him, I want to see Him. He isn’t confined to a building or a book. He’s everywhere, and He’s in me. I want to look for Him in the places I don’t expect to find Him. I want to go through my life looking for Jesus everywhere, because that is the only way for it to make sense and have meaning.