Into the Unknown

Currently, I am planning on homeschooling Malachi this year.  I am getting a late start looking into everything because first of all, I am a terrible procrastinator, and secondly, I just had a baby in May so it's been a little crazy.  Things are finally starting to feel somewhat balanced again, so now I am finally doing what ought to have been done months ago, which is looking into curriculum and making a plan. 

Right now, since we are in the early stages of education, I could probably just sort of wing it and do my own thing, but I feel like I need a curriculum that will help me to be structured, since on my own I'd probably end up being really anal and overwhelmed about the whole thing and having a meltdown.  Self-motivation isn't necessarily my strong point unless I'm really excited and confident about what I'm going to be doing.  At this point, I am more like semi-excited, somewhat doubtful, and nervous.  Not promising.

I've been looking into a curriculum called Sonlight, and from what I saw on the website, I think it could really be a good fit for me.  It sounds like it takes care of a lot of the planning, but is very involving when it comes to actually interacting with your children.  I find that very appealing because I tend to not want things very involving, and it will be a stretch for me.  But when it comes to the kids, it's the kind of stretching that is good for me, you know? 

I believe that this is definitely where God is leading me, us, our family...which, as usual, feels a lot to me like how Abraham must have felt leaving everything he knew to wander around in the desert looking for the promised land: expecting and believing for great things but also feeling a little bit like, "Oh crap what have I gotten myself into?" and basically knowing that God has to come through for you or it will all fall apart.  But I like that.  I want to live my life in such a way that I need God.  I don't want to be able to do it all on my own.

So I go forward into this with much trepidation, but also much expectation and hope.