Worth It

Lately I have spent a lot of time navigating the waters, so to speak, of being pregnant again.  For me, the first trimester usually includes "morning sickness" which doesn't actually only come in the morning.  It's more like "all day" sickness. 

So far I haven't actually been throwing up at all, just feeling nauseated all the time.  Today was hard, not because I felt so terrible, but because I knew I might be feeling a lot worse in the future.  I've been fighting a lot of anxiety about that. 

I try to remind myself that at the end of it all, I get a baby.  I'm looking forward to that!  Also, I've been trying to remind myself that I went through all of this with the three boys I already have, and that I definitely feel it was worth it.  I just have to look forward to the end result, which is a beautiful, brand new, baby.  Maybe even a girl this time!  But it is hard, knowing that nine long months are stretching out ahead of me and I will only be getting more and more uncomfortable. 

For now, though, I just get to experience the paradox of looking at food and thinking how good it is, while at the same time being somewhat repulsed by it.  Ah, the joys of expectant motherhood!