Give Me Jesus

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

But give me Jesus

Today I feel the words of this song.  I feel the need for Him.  I think that's a good thing.  It means my ears are ready to hear, my heart is ready to mold.  On a day like this, God can speak to me.  On a day like this, God can change me. 

The funny thing is that I don't feel great today.  I'm tired and emotional.  It's sunny out, but I feel like the skies are gray.  Yet somehow, I think it is on a day like this that God can do the most in me. 

On the days when I feel great, it's easy for me to forget how much I really need Him.  But today my need is staring me in the face.  And I love it. 

I love the days when my soul is crying out to God, when I feel that thirst for Him.  It is beautiful.  It reminds me that He is what I want most in this whole world.  It is so easy to be distracted by other things--husband, kids, life, problems, family, friends, neighbors, church, TV...the list goes on.  But on a day like today, all of those things seem to sort of fade into the background, and I remember what is really important. 

A day like today might start out being not so great.  But it has the potential of being one of the best days, depending on whether I choose to rely on Him or on myself.  When I feel low, or sad, or frustrated, I have the choice of continuing in that, or of trusting Him and asking Him for help.  Most of the time, that doesn't mean I will spend an hour in prayer or that I will read eight chapters of Bible.  No, it's nothing nearly so "super-spiritual".  Not that it would be a bad thing for me to do, but let's face it, I don't have enough time (or peace and quiet!) for that.

It might simply mean that I take one minute to stop and say, "Lord, I need your help," or "God, please give me patience."  It might mean that I stop to remember a verse like James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."  Or Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

Sometimes that is all I can do.  In those times, I know God meets me right where I am.  In those brief moments, I sometimes see God more clearly than in any worship service.  In those moments, I know the truth of Psalm 91:2 in ways I never could on days when I feel just fine.  "I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust'."

To Eat or Not to Eat

Here's what's tough about writing a blog every day: sometimes the most exciting thing you could write about is a play-by-play of the food you eat.

So far I have consumed two frozen waffles, a mug of chai spice tea, and a grilled ham, egg and cheese sandwich.

Normally, when I'm not pregnant, I eat about every four hours or so, which is pretty normal for most people, I think.  Now, at 13 weeks pregnant, I try to eat every couple hours.  Not huge meals, just little ones.  If I don't do it that way, I start feeling sick and miserable. 

I read once that a pregnant woman's body, particularly in the beginning of the pregnancy, is working as hard as a regular woman's body when she's climbing a mountain.  When you look at it that way, it makes sense that not eating would make you feel sick.  It takes a lot of energy to climb a mountain.

It might sound fun to have an excuse to eat all the time, and sometimes it is.  What isn't fun is having to find foods that sound good.  Everyone talks about having cravings during pregnancy, but what they don't talk about is aversions.  I really don't have very many cravings, but I seem to have more and more aversions to foods. 

Every since I was pregnant with Malachi, I have a hard time eating spaghetti--even when I'm not pregnant!  Especially if it's my own spaghetti.  I really don't like my own spaghetti.  The only spaghetti I like to eat is my mother-in-law's.  I don't know how she makes it (I'm not sure even she knows quite how she makes it!) but it's good.  Still, even when I have her spaghetti, I cannot eat any leftovers of it.

Right now, I also have a hard time with Mexican food; which is tragic because normally I love it!  I am hoping that as I go along and get into the second and third trimester I'll be able to eat it again.  I really miss it, especially the salsa.  And I know Aaron misses it too.  We used to eat Mexican probably several times a week.  Now, nothing.  Chili's is about as close as we get to it (which really isn't very close--although they do have good salsa--if I could eat it).

I have also developed a rocky relationship with pizza.  This is especially weird because in every other pregnancy, pizza was one thing I could always eat and enjoy.

A few other things I have a hard time eating now that usually wouldn't bother me: bread crusts, the cereal I used to eat every morning, some pot roasts, and chili, among other random foods that just don't sound good in the moment.

Well, as much fun as it has been writing about all the things I can't eat, I think it is about time for me to think about what I can eat next.  Maybe some Ramen noodles.  Of all things, those actually sound good to me!  Too bad they don't have more nutritional value.

I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining.  I'm not.  Well, maybe just a little:)  Mostly, I look at it as a mystery.  I'm curious why certain foods I love suddenly become unappealing, while others sound great that normally wouldn't be anything special, like McDonald's chicken nuggets.  Whatever the reason, I guess it all just part of the ups and downs of the pregnancy roller coaster.

Lately

It has been so long since I have kept up with my blog that I am having a hard time deciding what to write about.

I could write about how Izzy dumped chocolate cake mix on the kitchen floor and how he and Malachi then proceeded to play "hockey" in it, thus scattering it everywhere and resulting in me having to get down on my hands and knees with the shop vac to clean it up while I felt very much like puking because of my morning sickness.

I could write about how Aaron took the boys in the bike trailer to pick up some pizza from Blackjack one night, and how while he was inside getting the pizza, Malachi decided to ride his bike down the middle of 16th St.  And how Izzy decided to chase him, so they were both in the road.  And how once they were all back in their proper places, Simeon decided that he didn't like hot boxes of pizza and cinnabread on his lap and shoved them off on to the sidewalk, causing them to drag and eventually get run over, so that when we opened the cinnabread the icing was all stuck to the top and there was a bike tire track running down the middle.

I could write about how one morning the doorbell rang and when I answered it was two policemen who came because someone had called and told them that there were no parents at home here.  This came as a surprise to me since I hadn't even left the house that day.  I later figured out through questioning Malachi that he had talked to someone passing by in the alley behind our backyard and when they asked him where I was he said I wasn't there.  Only I suspect that they may have said something like, "Can you go get your Mommy or should I call the police?"  Well, guess which one my five-year-old picked!

I could write about how Simeon finally decided to start walking on his own at eighteen months of age, officially making him the child that started walking the latest in our family, and how he was almost beat to it by his cousin who is not even a year old yet!

I could write about how one morning my children got into the closet with all of our games and took several outside to scatter the cards and pieces to the four corners of the yard, and how the ones they didn't take out got dumped on the floor of the closet, those being Life and Monopoly which both have lots of small pieces to lose.  I had so much fun cleaning that up.

I guess there are a lot of things I could write about, but I really can't decide....