Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It's Better

Awhile ago I wrote about putting Simeon in his own room, and how it was hard to let go.  Then I wrote again about how he slept through the night, which was an unexpected benefit.  Well, I just thought I would write a bit of an update on the little guy and how he's doing now. 

Since he's been moved to his own room, he has slept through the night every time, except maybe once or twice.  Not only did he seem thrilled to be in his own room, but he suddenly seemed to grow up a lot.  He started eating regular food and not just milk, whereas previously he didn't much care about food.  He learned to crawl, and is now crawling all over the house and pulling himself up on things.  He is also trying to talk.  I know it seems like he would be too young, but he really is talking.  He can say "daddy" and tries to say "teeth", and he says "uh-oh", "hi", and "yeah", but without any real context for what they mean.  He mostly is just repeating what he hears.  Izzy was the same way, and it can be very funny, because it means you have a child who says a lot but doesn't know what he means.

What I think is really interesting, is how I thought putting him in his room would somehow be a bad thing.  I imagined him missing us.  I imagined having to get up several times in the night with him, only now I'd have to go to another room, thus making it more complicated.  I thought I would miss him (well, sometimes I do).  But in the end, it was good for all of us.  Simeon actually developed more because I let him go.  Do you see where this is going?  Sometimes, we try to hold on so tight to things, or people.  We try to be in control, and we think we know what's best.  But we don't.  Sometimes what they need most is for us to let go, and let them become their own person.  All that potential that's there that you feel like you should be able to coax out will come out on it's own, and in better ways than you might've thought, if you will just let it be.  I'm speaking to myself here most of all, and I'm trying to pay close attention.  Because I know a day is coming when I'll be faced with something a lot harder than putting my baby in his own room.  And I want to etch the knowledge on my heart that I cannot hold on too tight.  I have got to let these boys become the men that God made them to be.  It will be a fine line, I know, between teaching them what's right and guiding them and holding them accountable, and leaving them to follow what they know is right without interference.  I just have to give a hand to the parents who are doing that right now, and the ones who have already done it, my own parents included.  When the time comes, I'll take my cue from them, and with God's help and wisdom, I'll do the same.

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